Ask yourself
I haven’t written anything for over three months. There are multiple reasons for me being silent and I have explained some of them here. Now this year, exceptional in many respects, has come to its end, so I’m taking the opportunity to reflect on my personal as well as professional life. And while I’m going to keep personal observations to myself, I’d like to share with you some work-related thoughts of mine. I got inspired by one of the blogs I’ve been reading and asked myself the following questions:
What made you happy this year?
What really made me happy is the fact that I could keep working and didn’t lose a single student/course despite the fact that the circumstances changed completely and everything was very different from what we were all used to. It wasn’t always easy, for some of my students it was downright hard, yet they all managed to keep working on their English. I felt that my biggest role in that was to offer my support and understanding and I hope I succeeded, at least most of the time.
I was also happy to see that our Support group for freelance language teachers is still up and running. Although we only managed to meet about three times in person, we kept in touch and I’m really grateful for all the support, help and inspiration my newly found colleagues and friends have given me so far. I most certainly hope we’ll continue to be here for each other…
What didn’t make you happy this year?
Most of the things that didn’t make me happy this past year could be divided into two categories. The things in the first category are the same things that bother me about my professional performance in general. Those are the things that I’m completely personally responsible for (I mean, who else would be when this is exclusively a one woman show?), such as failing to check my (ample) notes to assign homework in a timely manner or forgetting to send my students some links to useful resources that I had promised.
In the second category, that is the category of stuff not under my control, there’s just one thing. The fact that I couldn’t meet my students face to face. I know, many people in many different jobs (as well as in their personal lives) have been forced to face an unprecedented amount of isolation and loneliness, or couldn’t even do their jobs at all. And I sincerely feel for all of them. Meeting my students, however, always recharges me; a special exchange of energy happens in the classroom every time and I miss it. So my hope for this coming year is that we’ll be given the chance to meet again, at least sometimes.
When I compare my self today and last December…
Little did I know this time last year what was ahead of me, of all of us. I thought I knew how 2020 would go. I couldn’t possibly have been more wrong. I had just recovered from a life-threatening condition and my only concern was to make sure I’d have enough work this year. I also had no idea how flexible I will have to become. I had less appreciation of my own skills and also for all the effort my students make in order to improve their knowledge and skills. I’m grateful that the year 2020 opened my eyes.
What did this year teach me?
This would make a long list of different things. First of all, it turned out once again that I should judge or reject options without giving them a try. If you had told me any time before 2020 that I’d be teaching fully online for a whole year and like it, I’d have told you that you’re crazy. And yet, here we are. I learnt how to work with Zoom, Skype, MS Teams, Google Classroom and Canva. And I shouldn’t forget about this blog, because 2020 was also the year when I started blogging about my work. And even though I didn’t post as frequently as I’d thought I would, I’m still really happy that I started and, twenty-two posts later, I’m still here.
Perhaps the biggest lesson for me was to see in practice that where there’s a will, there’s a way. Always. If you want something badly enough, you can and will make it work.
Why do I do what I do?
I don’t really need to ask this question now, at the end of this year. The reason is simple – I keep checking regularly if the reasons for which I chose this profession are stil valid. I can’t imagine I would teach just because of money or for lack of other options. In my world, teaching someone something (whatever it may be) means establishing and maintaining a close, even personal, relationship with the person who is supposed to learn something from me. This relationship should be meaningful, also full of joy, with ocassional rough patches, and constant mutual respect and appreciation. For me, there’s no other way than that and it doesn’t really matter if this relationship lasts a few weeks, months or years.
At this point I’d like to thank all of my students, but also colleagues, teachers and mentors, simply everyone who has been on this journey with me. And not only in 2020. Whatever is ahead of us in 2021, I believe we will manage and keep learning from each other.
Happy New Year!
Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash